The color of a bubble is a thing of great importance to iPhone owners and their iMessage I’ve been told 3-4 times in the past week by a handful of publications. Apparently, if you participate in a group iMessage with iPhone folks, the bubbles they see from other iPhone users are blue, while your Android phone sends them green bubbles. When I say “of great importance,” I mean that they think you are an inferior peasant who they’d rather not talk to and will likely remove you from their conversations.
The simple thought of that idea, where your bubble is a thing for someone to shit on you about is enough to make me want to piss out a bucket full of acid that I could pour on my own brain to melt it, only to pour the leftover sludge from that mess back over the rest of my body to have to never think about how f*cking stupid this world is that we live in, where your bubble is a new wave discriminatory symbol. The level of petty shitheadedness involved in the idea doesn’t surprise me, though, because this world is filled with self-righteous petty shitbags – just look at…well, let’s not get into it.
That said, Samsung has attempted to counteract the green bubble thing with a series of GIFs posted to GIPHY that you can use in defense of your phone choice. They are…oh my, quite something.
We’re going into this assuming that whoever made them has the self-awareness to understand that all of humanity would mock their creations, which forever cements them as instant classic GIFs. Because if anything, mind-numbingly-bad GIFs like these are the perfect responses to your iPhone friends, who shouldn’t be your friends if they’ve allowed themselves to judge you by caring about the color of your bubble. Nothing says more perfectly, “I think you are pathetic and I’m fine with you removing me from your group chat,” than a climaxing lizard.
Here are some of my favorites.
Go get ’em, Android folks.