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Judge Koh to Apple’s Lawyers: “You’re Smoking Crack”

That was a fun title to write. Today, Judge Koh was handed a 75-page document from Apple that details rebuttal witnesses for when Samsung has closed their arguments. Judge Koh, apparently becoming more and more unpleasant during the trial, was handed the document then nearly shouted, “when unless you’re smoking crack you know these witnesses aren’t going to be called!”

You go, girl! 

Apple’s attorney, probably shaking, stepped forward and replied with, “First, your honor, I’m not smoking crack. I can promise you that.” Classic. This trial only gets better and better.

Via: The Verge

  • Jason Brown

    the colbert gif is a nice touch. i love it.

  • cb2000a

    Apple is bent on their own destruction…

  • S.Ober

    Is anyone else memorized by that crack pipe? I think if I was a junkie that would be the Cadillac of crack pipes. lol

    • JoshGroff

      I think you mean mesmerized. Also as seethrough pointed out, it’s an X-ray tube.

  • yarrellray

    As I stated before I applaud Samsung for standing up for their brand and not being bullied by apple that means so much for android. Apple thinks they are invincible but clearly they are not just like there crappy ass iphone is garbage. But being truthful it’s time for the judge to place these combatants in a locked room for days if need be and nobody comes out till agreement is reached. At the end of the day we the consumer are the ones who lose and neither of us deserve that. Sometimes a draw is a win time to end this show. Yeah Samsung……

  • wm snyder

    Judge Koh a monopoly is against the law! Keep your eyes on the target not the smoke and mirrors. Patent should not apply to this kind of technology. If apple win the rest will fall and you judge Koh will be left with a monopoly.!!!

  • Wasn’t this judge the one who ruled in favor of Apple in the Samsung Galaxy Nexus case?

  • SolipsisticPsychologist

    Where is the girl supposed to go exactly? Yes, and it’s nice to see a government official, ask a lawyer if they are using cocaine, what etiquette. Even in the face of frustration and tedium, we should never hold a judge to a higher level than something that uncouth. You go to the store girl….unnggghh yahgnawlawmeen sun and or daughtaaaa, I be down syndrome wit it.

  • Colin Zack

    They must be terrible phones to be completely crushing the smartphone market…

  • Apple_Sucks

    …Enter Franklin and Bash

  • bear0013

    Can I buy one and a 40 sack threw your store..and do I get free shipping LOL……jk. …..but seriously though free shipping? ……hahhahaa

  • Ben Arledge

    I bet there’s an app for that.

  • br_hermon

    🙂 🙂 🙂 I love it haha

  • SeeThrough

    The “crack pipe” image here is actually a X-ray tube. Is a design I’ve never seen before.
    I felt compelled to make this statement. Sorry.

  • Lakerzz

    Wow, at first I thought this post was going to be, “How to smoke crack…[Beginners guide]”!!

    • Frank F

      U can go to Crackberry.com for that or apples site since they probably find a way to get it into ur system to stay a loyal client

  • Manny

    You droid boys are amusing

  • Steve

    hahahahha Hey Tim why not write the article about goggle asking Samsung to make a device that doesn’t look so much like an Ipad?? Samsung is going to lose. They haven’t defended themselves exept to say that apple’s patents were not legit b/c apple stole them to begin with. If that’s the case then all the suits would be against apple and not samsung.. But funny how this site focuses on the judge banging apple but not the other way around.

    • We don’t care who wins. We just think it’s funny.

  • geonautics

    If the battle continues, it only prove one thing, the U.S. Patent system is corrupted/broken.

  • FortitudineVincimus

    Where the hell can I buy THAT crack pipe. That pipe is so cool, I now want to smoke crizzzack.

    • DaveTea

      Its a dental x-ray tube.

      • give a crackhead 30 seconds with it and itll be a crackpipe

  • Christopher Ruiz


  • Patent Attorney JD LLM SJD Esq

    Stop posting about patent cases, Tim. You are clueless.

    • michael centeno

      And you do? Lol. Stfu.

    • Calex9500

      Keep posting about patent cases, Tim. If nothing else, your post gave me and a couple others a nice laugh for the day… The only time that this troll ever stepped foot into a courtroom involved shackles and a shiny pair of silver bracelets…

    • PC_Tool

      You missed a few initials in your alias….most obviously; BS.

  • VZWIndirect

    That is the most elaborate crack pipe I have ever seen. Somewhere, there is an Engineer that smokes rock.

    • ArrowCool

      You’re absolutely right! They work at Verizon.

    • nightscout13

      Even though it looks like one, i don’t think it is… Where is the opening in the glass to place the product?

      • Looks to me like an arc lamp or something. I found something similar in my lab once.

        • Conartist

          Your PI was smoking crack too 😛

    • Lucky Armpit

      Lol, was wondering if that was just a light bulb disguised as a crack pipe. I was like, OMG where can I get one?! 🙂

      • skidiot.h

        Open up a lightbulb and wash it with salt 😉 then you can smoke your crack out of it

    • That is EXACTLY the first thing I thought lol… I looked at that crack pipe for a a minute or 2 marveling in its creativeness lmao…. Then I realized there was an article. “Somewhere there is an engineer that smokes rock” hahaha perfect….

  • Liderc

    Man I hope this judge tosses this case out and slams both companies with huge fines.

    • moelsen8

      i’ve been hoping for that too, that she tells them both they’ve made a mockery of the entire system and then tosses it out.

      • Eric Mercon

        Ummm… you do realise when companies like these get fined, THE FRIGGIN CONSUMER GETS THE SHAFTED WITH THE BILL?!?

        • PC_Tool

          Fine. A fine and a court-ordered pricing-freeze.
          ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!?

          …sorry, couldn’t resist the caps shot. 😉

        • moelsen8

          you do realize your CAPS KEY IS STUCK!?!

        • Luuuuke

          you are right on. Amazing how people ignore this. We need these petty “they stole my icons!” disputes to disappear and watch the prices DROP.

    • I don’t think Samsung is the one who deserves the fines! Samsung is just there trying to protect their products and their brand from being banned in the US.

  • TheWenger

    Apple’s trying to take advantage of the time they have left. They have six hours left while Samsung has about 1.5. Apple wants to call more witnesses after Samsung has used up their time, that way Samsung won’t be able to cross examine the magic out of them.

  • T4rd

    So, Tim, is that your own personal crack pipe? I know you all don’t use any pics in your articles except for your own =p.

    • Hah we made an exception for this one

      • T4rd

        Errm.. why did my comment get deleted? You can say crack in the title, but not a comment..?! Lol

        • I don’t know. Disqus is kind of weird about that stuff. Let me see if I can fix.

        • Droidzilla

          Because you touch yourself at night.

  • Awesome lol

  • rickkane

    F#cking ridiculous.

  • EvanTheGamer

    But wait a second…wasn’t this judge at one time an Apple supporter? What has changed in the last two months?!

    Also, what gives?! I don’t buy it.

    • Trueblue711

      She probably saw first hand all of their BS.

    • Josh Fischer

      I don’t think she was ever pro Apple, she made decisions against both sides early on and has continued to do so.

      As far as what gives, both sides were given 25 hours each to make a case and defend themselves. Both sides are running out of time but continue to push forward more and more paperwork and requests for witnesses that seems to be pissing her off.

      Good for her, keeping them inline.

    • r0lct

      You don’t get appointed to the supreme court being easily swayed by corporation s.

      • nightscout13

        Unless you own Apple stock and Apple products.

        • r0lct

          Right. Because she would jeopardize her entire career on her stock portfolio. She’s smart enough to know this trial is more about them embarrassing Samsung than anything impacting their quarterly report.

          • Besides, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she would be required to abstain from purchasing, shorting, or doing any sort of trading on the stock of companies that are involved in her cases (or their subsidiaries… wholey owned at least). If that ISN’T a law, it certainly should be.

          • nightscout13

            What if she had stock prior to the case being presented?

          • gujupmp88

            Then it would be a conflict of interest and she would either step down from being the judge in this case or Samsung would’ve filed a motion to get her removed. Judges have to be impartial, and for something this public, no way she does anything to jeopardize her career.

          • r0lct

            Self control. Would you screw over your employer for a few bucks?

          • nightscout13


      • Frank F

        I may be wrong here but she isn’t and this isn’t the supreme court …I’m just saying

        • JBForum

          She might want to be one day was the point I think

        • Droidzilla

          You’re correct; she’s a district court judge.

      • jeesung

        i lol’d

    • She sees how ridiculous these claims are and they are waisting everyone’s time. Apple still haven’t proved their case and now the jury will lay down the verdict once they give their closing statements next week

  • JohnPA2006

    I love this judge, she is awesome.

    • kevslider

      I don’t. She’s the one who started the whole mess with the stoppage of Nexus and Galaxy Tab sales.

  • This judge must have a Galaxy

    • Jonathan Williams

      I’m leaning towards a mix of sense and frustration with this nonsense.

  • ceejw

    Both Apple and Samsung have been doing a pretty good job of consistently pissing off Judge Koh.

    • nightscout13

      Well, she is FEMALE……

      • Eric Franca

        Wait, what? I was looking for a pun in there somewhere. No success.

        • nightscout13

          Women get irritated easily…Plus PMS.

          • Laki S.

            Not to mention she’s one of the few judges who’s actually bringing common sense to the courtroom….

          • She is too old for PMS, maybe menopause!! lol

  • paul_cus

    Post of the month.

  • gnexuser

    That’s awesome…