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10 Dumb Things That Men Do With Smartphones According to Men’s Health

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I’d say they pretty much nailed this list. Anything else that should be added?

  • steve fairbourne

    I am a 37-year-old warm-blooded male, and am certain I don’t understand #9.  Equally sure I don’t want to.

  • J Dub

    How about having a smartphone because it’s “cool” yet not knowing jack ish about them? Like referring to all Android phones as Droids. “Is that the new Droid? What kinda Droid do you have?”

  • SeigaGen

    Oh how #2 will haunt Brett Favre forever!  LOL.

  • bogy25

    I think women do the same 10 things – too many examples to list…..

  • J Himebaugh

    I carry my phone in a holster for a really simple reason:

    After I put a case on my phone it simply will NOT fit comfortably on any other mode of carry. No ego, no statement, no priority, other than I want to carry this phone and I want to be comfortable.

    I am always amazed when people read so much into so little!

  • Come on… nothing wrong with holsters.  I used one because my phone is safer than then in my pocket where it would have to fight my keys, change, and other potentially damaging objects.

  • Done with the convo

    Wow, the things superficial people waste their time on…   Lets all make ourselves feel superior because we don’t use a holster or lol…  whatevs

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  • Syrio35

    Holsters are stupid? I think pants big enough to accomodate a thunderbolt with an extended battery and a protective case would be more stupid.

  • Kerry Davies

    Yeah not publishing this list

  • Skittleoid

    Oh my goodness. Glad to know I’m not the only one to have dropped my beloved beauty into the toilet. I tried to save its life. I reached in there through the murky chocolate, butterscotch river from someone before who forgot to flush before me and grabbed the electronic. I only found out later after sticking my hand in that hell that it would never work again anyway. :*(   EEEEEEEEEEEFFFFFFF    

    • Chrisriner84

      Uh, yeah you’re probably the only person who’s ever done it when the toilet holds the previous users offerings. Of course its not gonna work, what in the hell WERE YOU THINKIN!!!

      • Skittleoid

        It was natural instincts to sacrifice my self pride and appetite by plunging into the unknown for the life of my beloved Droid. I wasn’t able to save her, but at least I had the body to give a proper burial and kiss it good-bye for one last time. Rest in peace you brave, brave little phone. <3

  • tjmonkey15

    They forgot “takes two hours to take a dump because you’re on the pot playing angry birds.”

    • J Dub

       Wow. I mean I might get max 15 minutes. Past that I get the numb legs.

  • Azndan4

    Motorola sucks

  • dsghdsfh
  • Sexist article. No one will ever talk about dumb things WOMEN do with smartphones (especially i*hones). {{-_-}}

  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGz6NdLBF2Y

    “Just the fact that people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. You know, I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it’s really given us is Howard Dean’s aborted candidacy and 24 hour a day access to kiddie porn. People… they don’t write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text, no punctuation, no grammar: LOL this and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me it’s just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people at a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King’s English. ” -Hank Moody, Californication.

  • Discopunkk

    #11 Looking at this crap “article”from Men’s Health.

  • LocBox

    yea 4G is down…smh or shaking my head.

  • Mr.Casey

    Yeah holsters are horrible. To defend them by saying they’re useful…well fanny packs were useful but you don’t see anyone (that’s not being made fun of) wearing those anymore.

  • Rich Floresjr

    I have a holster for my pistol and for my phone. So what?

  • Is Verizon’s 4G down again? I’m trying to post a pic of my junk, but I can’t connect 4G and the pic is so big that 3G can’t handle it?

  • Bluebanzai

    On a more serious note, #1 has exclusively been women from anything I’ve ever heard. Never heard of a bro fumbling and dropping it in. This is because they keep it in their shallow back pockets and it slips out when they sit down.

    • Higher_Ground

      Exactly, I’ve known 2 women to drop their phone but not a single guy… Didn’t even make sense because you pee in front of the toilet, not over top of it!

    • Was going to say the same thing. Every time I hear of a friend dropping a phone into the toilet, it’s been a female. 

  • Carmen Diva

    lol #2 is so true and unfortunately given the mass amount of douches in the world who take pics of their junk to send off to “impress” a girl it should be number one 😀

    and it is NEVER anything like “Wow, that is impressive looking.”
    itt’s more like “Eh…”
    but it is fun to embarrass the dude by passing it around or like my friend did, she posted his shot on FB(since his face was also in it)

    LOL i’d love to see a top 10 women’s list

  • Carmen Diva

    As usual some sexist comments below in the comments below me(so i am not surprised -_- but at least some are sort of funny 😀

    Anyway this was a funny list and i enjoyed the laugh

    • cizzlen

      lol wut

  • Liltortillaboy

    I always remember to clear my cache before lending her the phone…along with history. 🙂

  • Liderc

    Half of this stuff doesn’t even make sense lol.  Fail article

  • Gothamsghost

    Buy one with an Apple logo.

  • M6droid

    EOM: end of message. See it all the time in work emails.

    • Towelie420

      I immediately thought of when Stewie demanded that Brian says “over” after everything when they were using walkie talkies

      • how does a fictional character from one cartoon know about characters from another cartoon on a different channel? i’m freaking out man!

        • Jacob121791

          Don’t forget to bring a towel. U wanna get high?

  • ddevito

    Anyone notice Chrome (for Android) consistently loads the mobile version of DL? Sweet.

  • i agree with everything stated in your post. what is eom? anyone? And holsters are actually good for some jobs.

    • trogsdoor

      Guess you don’t need a holster when you sit at a desk writing garbage like this article. The writer of this list probably hasn’t worked outside of an office (nothing wrong with that).

      • infidel22

        Somebody wears a holster.

        • trogsdoor

          I do wear a holster when I’m at work (on a farm) since my otterbox doesn’t fit well in my pocket and I don’t wasn’t to dig it out each time I get a phone call. That being said, I don’t normally wear it outside of work but why should holsters be tacky if they serve a useful purpose?

    • TC Infantino

      I had the plastic holster for my OG Droid.  It was great, and I didn’t have to constantly take my phone out of my pocket when I sat down, which is what I do now that I carry my phone in my pocket.

    • Towelie420

      I have to agree that holsters are so freaking tacky. It just declares “hey everyone, regardless of what conversation we’re having right here, if my phone rings, its more important than you and takes priority”. Also I hate when people put their phones on the dinner table, its such a rude gesture to people eating with you. But then again, I didn’t have a cell phone until I was 18, so I’ve spent most of my life so far without one. So it does not rule my life like others allow it to do.

      • i dont think they look good but they are a lot better in certain situations/jobs. 

    • tomn1ce

      If the holsters are the same as the carrying case that you fasten to the belt, yes they are very handy. I have always used one, since my first cell phone. I couldn’t find the holster the other day so I put my G-Nexus in my front right pocket and it was so weird and uncomfortable. I just kept thinking how is it that people walk around with their phones in their pockets. But to each its own…..

      PS… I hate editting on the Ipad 2

  • Yeah. Typing “that was funny” is way better than a short lol. These are pretty much a list of a specific persons annoyances rather than definite dumb things.

    • Silveruberxeno

      Bingo. If its over, it’s over, and your crying is just going to irritate me. Breaking up via text is clean, quick, and let’s me get back to the things that don’t annoy me.

      This is a non-issue when you just don’t commit to women in the first place. 😀

      • id say the same thing about the guy if it were dumb things women do with smartphones list. nobody likes getting broken up with, people just want to bitch and complaining that it was done over text is an easy target. 

    • J Dub

      Because “haha” is so long and just doesn’t convey the same as lol.

      I hate lol more than LOL. At least LOL looks like LOL and not like 1o1.

  • Trebills

    Never done any of these. el oh el.

  • #4 is me 🙁 do it every time I’m using my phone. My dad always hates saying things 3-6 times

    • Michael_NM

      I’m sorry, what?

      • I don’t pay any attention to my surroundings, and I turn my ears off…

  • yarrellray

    Never done any of these things…….Sike…………

    • squiddy20

      You do know the addition of “sike” means you have in fact done these things, right?
      Your lack of a grasp of the English language astounds me…

      • Why_You_So_Butt_Hurt?


      • why would you randomly assume that he means anything otherwise?

        • Tony McAfee

          Because he spelled “psyche” “sike”

      • Chrisriner84

        I think your lack of understanding his English has astounded a few folks.

    • trumpet444


  • Michael_NM

    I tried to read all ten, but then I was distracted by my phone. LOL from the toilet where I am using a fart app to hide the fact that I’m watching porn.

    • James Friedman

      Incognito tabs were absolutely created for men watching porn = FACT

  • FPSRageQuit

     God forbid we use any acronyms or abbreviations to type a little faster.

    • J Dub

      I think the point is if you are going to use them at least put effort into it. Like “OMG that made me LOL in a meeting.” You wouldn’t just laugh in person. You would laugh and say like “That junk is funny!”

  • #12: The phone falling out of your pocket while your dirt biking 🙂
    (that happened to my old OG droid but it survived;) )

    • Lakerzz

      Og Droid, AKA: CHUCK NORRIS!!

  • I’ll agree with everything but the fart app

  • Meister_Li

    Obviously the first is what every web-enabled device is used for. Looking at porn.

  • fartbubbler

    #11:  Flash without wiping then wondering why my sh!tz fkd up.

    • This is a lot funnier if you assume he’s not talking about a phone.

      • CompCrash

         Got to be the best pair of comments I have ever seen.

        • Hah thanks. It’s not often you get the *perfect* setup like that, how could I resist?

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          • sslayer22

            “You can’t just softball it in there like that. You know I’m gonna dog it” -Xander Crews

      • GazaIan

        You got twice as many likes, so quite a lot of people must have missed the joke the first time… o.o

        • I’m not sure it was a joke to begin with. I can’t tell if he was kidding or just didn’t realize how it sounded.

  • havent dropped my phone in the toilet yet, but i have done the bro stache thing before. and i always text instead of calling. screw calling

  • richard melcher

    From now on I will call you “Retarded Tool” OK?

    • richard melcher

      Dammit Siri! I said “Rock God”

      •  Haha watch this video. A nice spoof of rock god.


        • This video is pretty damn funny.

          • richard melcher

            99.98% likes out of 4,000 votes lol

          • lol

        • Larizard

          someone posted this in Androidandme:
          User to Siri: “I’m hurt, call me an ambulance”
          Siri to User: “Ok, from now on, I’ll call you an ambulance”

        • TC Infantino

          I LOL’d  Oops, did I break one of the ten stupid rules?

    • My friend tried to do it like in the commercial and it said “ok i will call you ‘master from now on'” #fail

  • jjrudey

    The news must be pretty slow for them. 

    • potacho

       Men’s Health isn’t a news magazine.

  • What do they know? My only source for phone information is Droid-Life.

    • Futhermore, why can’t I use “lol” anymore? It’s a lot faster at conveying my humored expression than typing “My, what a funny statement you just made.”

      • Hah I don’t even know how to respond to that. Maybe they should have included “TROLOLOLOL” though.

      • Whats the problem with just typing out “funny?”  When do you really ever laugh out loud at something. Those two extra letters won’t make your thumbs fall off.

        • because that just sounds sarcastic

          • Funny does sound sarcastic, or at least condescending. I usually do the haha but also type a lol sometimes. I often do in fact laugh out loud.

          • Towelie420

            How about make your signature say “I refuse to uses lol” that way you can say ha or funny without it seeming sarcastic.

          • Calculatorwatch

            and then you would always seem pretentious

          • I guess thats more universally accepted, though for me it’s the inverse. I always say haha when I’m being sarcastic, guess I’m just weird like that.

        • Justreboot

          or just haha

          • zUFC


            LOL went out years ago    “HaHa” is the new LOL

      • Lakerzz

        It definitely was quite the hilarious one!!

        • i’m actually laughing because of the last thing you just said to me!

      • Mr. Snarky

        Because you’re not actually in that much of a hurry, are you?

        Because if life hands you something really creative and stimulating, “LOL” is the equivalent of drooling by comparison.

        Because you forgot that people made fun of this kind of stuff when it was still Valley girl speak.

        Because after seeing it 1,000 times, some people are actually ready to move on.

        Because not everyone feels as compelled to text while driving.

        Because it really stands for lolllllll, like dullllllll, or maybe even putter, fart, pffft, yawn, period, silence, nobody home upstairs nothing to see move it along.